No, I’m not a Human – A Guide to Spotting Every Visitor

This is your ultimate cheat sheet to identifying every single imposter in No, I’m not a Human. We’ve got the full list of tells for every character so you can become the ultimate Visitor spotter.

Aight, so you’re the new doorman at the gates of… well, somewhere important. And your one job is to separate the humans from the Visitors, the impostors trying to sneak their way in. The problem? They look just like us. This is No, I’m not a Human, and you’re gonna need a super sharp eye and a healthy dose of suspicion to survive.

Don’t trip. This is your definitive, no-BS spotter’s guide. We’ve got the full breakdown of every character, including the ones who are always safe, the ones who are always sus, and all the specific, weird tells for everyone in between. Say less, let’s get into it.

How to Be a Pro Visitor Spotter: The Basics

Before we get to the character list, you need to know what you’re looking for. Your job is like a super-fast game of spot the difference.

• Physical Inspection: Get up close and personal. You’re looking for anything that’s off. Check their teeth (weirdly white or yellow?), eyes (red pupils, strange colors?), hands and fingernails (rashes, dirt, no fingertips?), and even their armpits (rashes, fungus, weirdly clean?). Be sus of everything.
• The Photo is Key: Your camera is your best friend. Snapping a picture can reveal things the naked eye can’t see, like creepy auras (purple, dark, colorful), extra shadows, or weird glowing spots. Always take a picture.
• Listen to What They Say: Sometimes, they’ll just straight-up lie to you. The Lawyer Guy, for example, will tell you his fingernails are dirty when they’re actually clean. You have to check their claims to catch them in a lie.

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The Sus List: A Character-by-Character Breakdown

Here’s the full list. We’ve broken it down into three categories to make your job easier.

Always Human (The Safe List)

These are your homies. No matter what, these characters are always human. Let ’em in and don’t even stress.

1. Bar Guy
2. Blinded Man
3. Factory Worker
4. Firefighter
5. Foreigner
6. Kindergarten Teacher
7. Little Girl
8. Widowed Woman

Bonus: Death Cult Peons

Always Visitor (The K.O.S. List)

If you see these characters, it’s on sight. They are always a Visitor. Don’t ask questions. Don’t hesitate. Just handle your business.

1. Big Mommy
2. Cashier Girl
3. Cat Lady (Balerina)
4. Cold Guy
5. Granny
6. Immortal Man

The Variables (The Real Game)

This is the main roster. These characters can be Visitors, and you have to spot the tells to figure it out.

1. Amogus Guy – Visitor Tells: Dirty fingernails, red eyes, no armpit hair, and a weird photo with green spots.
2. Angry Guy – Visitor Tells: Super white teeth, weird fingernails, and his armpits are scratched up and red.
3. Bandana Guy – Visitor Tells: Yellow teeth, brown fingernails, one green eye (it’s blue when he’s human), and a purple aura in his photo.
4. Best Son – Visitor Tells: White teeth, clean hands, normal eyes, but a purple aura on his photo.
5. Couple – Visitor Tells: Both have clean hands, slightly orange eyes, and shaved armpits.
6. Deadbeat Mom – Visitor Tells: A red rash on her hands and a colorful aura in her photo.
7. Doctor – Visitor Tells: A brown rash on his hands and an orange aura in his photo.
8. Dreamer – Visitor Tells: Yellow teeth, red eyes, and clean hands.
9. Dude – Visitor Tells: Dirty fingernails, normal eyes, but has fungus in his armpits.
10. Ex-minister – Visitor Tells: Fungus in the armpits.
11. FEMA Wife – Visitor Tells: Unpainted fingernails, red eyes, and fungus in her armpits.
12. Fortune Teller – Visitor Tells: White teeth, red eyes, and a colorful aura in her photo.
13. Fugitive – Visitor Tells: Scratched hands, red eyes, and scratched armpits. The photo will also have a dark spot on it.
14. Gangrene Guy – Visitor Tells: White teeth, red eyes, clean armpits, and his hands will look dark in the photo.
15. Girl in a cap – Visitor Tells: A red rash on her hands, and the photo has a darker aura with a glowing spot on her head.
16. Gravedigger – Visitor Tells: He’ll say the grave was empty, and his photo will have two shadows.
17. Happy Man – Visitor Tells: A red rash on his hands, rapid pupil movement, and a “happy aura” in his photo.
18. Homeless Man – Visitor Tells: His armpits are too clean, and his photo has a dark aura.
19. Hunter – Visitor Tells: White teeth, red eyes, and he will not let you take a photo of him.
20. Lawyer Guy – Visitor Tells: No armpit hair, and he’ll lie, saying he has dirt under his fingernails when he doesn’t.
21. Mob Guy – Visitor Tells: Bloody gums, fungus in his armpits, and his eyes will be red in the photo.
22. Nun – Visitor Tells: Bugs in her ears and a dark aura in her photo.
23. Redhead Woman – Visitor Tells: Big pupils, shaved armpits, and her eyes will look red in the photo.
24. Stand Up Guy – Visitor Tells: Blood on his hands and red eyes.
25. Sun Guy – Visitor Tells: Red eyes, clean armpits, and a dark aura in his photo.
26. Taxi Driver – Visitor Tells: Yellow teeth, clean fingernails, normal eyes, and shaved armpits.
27. Theorist – Visitor Tells: Dirty hands and a single white beam of light on his head in the photo.
28. Twin One – Visitor Tells: Clean hands and a slightly colored aura in the photo.
29. Twin Two – Visitor Tells: Yellow teeth, a red rash on his hands, red eyes, and a dark aura in his photo.
30. Wheelchair Guy – Visitor Tells: Peep the two gold teeth, my guy has no fingertips, a red rash on his armpits, and a dark aura in his photo.

Pro-Tip: The Trash Bag Confirmation

Listen up, this is a huge pro-tip. Sometimes the game bugs out, and the special “Visitor” death animation won’t play. You might think you messed up and killed a human. But here’s the real tell: if they drop trash bags after they’re gone, it was a Visitor. That’s your 100% confirmation, even if the animation glitched.

Now you have the ultimate cheat sheet. Trust no one. Good luck, doorman.